Formative

 

Later in bed

under your father’s unyielding

you affix childhood birthday cards to pink walls

 

consider your white breasts

pale nipples hardening

under graceless fingers

 

You lash wrists and ankles with father’s brown belt

and sleep.  Your tired body

bound to a ragged teddy

 

In the morning

you pluck black hairs one by one

They wonder at your  madness

 

Love Story

 

I will refuse you. 

No. I will love you

I will believe in my

love for you.  I will

believe my love for

you is proof of god

is proof of One will

embrace it like a child 

No. Inhale it like a child

I will Carry the shards of

eternity on my tongue

I won’t taste the blood 

I won’t notice the stains

on my lips, my chin 

I won’t be looking

in the mirror, won’t

see the tint of air as

I exhale crimson mist

 

I will trust you like the

Sun.  You will blind me

and I will trust you like

the sun.  I will blind my

self and you will slash

my arms my wrists my

cheeks my thighs. You

will say you love me 

You will speak of One

and faith and god and

eternity and you will say

you love me and you

will stitch my wrists 

You will kiss my cheeks

and stitch my arms and

I will sleep and you will

tug the fragile strings

while I’m sleeping.  I will

unravel and I will wait 

I will wait and hope and

abuse myself with slant

reason.  You will push

me back and back and

back.  Closer, closer to

the precipice and I will

fall and I will fall and I

will fly.  I will fly like

a dove.  No.  I will fly

like a raven and you will

see, all you will see is

blue light glinting off

my wings and I will feel

nothing but cool air and

light and mist and color 

I will be carried and I will

forget about One and faith

and god and love and

words and trust and blood

and sun and sin and you

 

I will already have forgotten about you